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"Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" Yes" says the woman."Did you hit him with that golf club?" Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?" I don't know -- put me down for a five."A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven,St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.She said: "What are your golf clubs doing. Had to work from the bed however to keep the leg up. Nurses came in, did their check of me and left-had food, was shitty TV in a language I did not know. So stayed on the computer. My night nurse came in and my god she was gorgeous! Her name tag said Ana-about 5'5", petite, big tits, long reddish brown hair and the looks of a great ass under her uniform, which was quite short for a nurse i thought. My god, she is beautiful. And great legs-I hope she spoke english. She said "how are u feeling Mr. S*********?" A lovely voice and to me an accent. Wow! I said Ok, little pain. She checked my blood pressure, temp and pulse Ox. Everything was good-we chatted a bit-she seemed a bit flirty,probably just being friendly I thought. She sat down and asked me about my business and we talked for quite a while, she said it was slow tonite on the floor. I really liked her and I thought something was happening between us, but probably my imagination. She had to leave, and said she would be.
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